Value Systems, The Custodians of Self Worth.
As we grow up in life, we realize or are forced to realize that we are distinct individuals, each to his or her own self. And we want that. No child wants to be mistaken for another, even a sibling, even if that sibling is a twin. But as we develop that individuality, we also realize that what we really are remains hidden within us, invisible to the outside world until we display it or project it in a form that can be identified. That form is a composite of attributes we hold dear. They eventually define us and we can allow them to do it so precisely that how we see ourselves can become inexorably linked to those values we hold so dearly.
The values we embrace are those that we are either taught or those that have emerged through personal experiences. Since we need them, we will tend to embrace attributes that are stronger than we are, attributes that fortify us at that time. A child, for instance, may cling to family values, or they will embrace values determined by the parent’s leanings (religious, family, social, etc.). As we grow and discover more personal strengths or social strengths outside of family, we may embrace different values that seem stronger or are more personal. These may have strengths relative to the environment in which we function. Wealth, beauty, stamina, or skills may be relative to the people to whom we wish to reveal ourselves. They may also be behavioural, revealing an inner passion. For example, consideration, accountability, determination are some of the psychosocial attributes that offer a peek into us that reveal attitudes we are proud to display.
Regardless, the combination of specific attributes we choose can, not only define us, but can become the precious conditions we must protect, even above life itself. Then, value systems can be liabilities just as they can be assets. A person’s ability to perform at a task or to accept responsibility, or even to relate to others, is driven by personal strength as the individual, mental strength. If that strength is supported by values that are themselves vulnerable, that person’s ability to display self effectively can be compromised. More so, if those value systems are threatened, the whole self and capabilities that go with it can be threatened.
The most impregnable and impermeable value system is based on recognition of self as a powerful metaphysical force or soul. But it is one that is hard to reach and not easily discovered. We aim to show you how
Therefore, waiting only delays the inevitable. Treating the coping strategies does not fix the real problem. Fixating your focus on the behaviour or the feelings will never allow you or them to solve the real problem. You have to help them discover and appreciate themselves. And that means getting them to realize that their world is tough, not only for them, but also for others. It also means getting them to appreciate themselves for more than what they can show or what they can see, but for how they think. They must be encouraged to stimulate their most powerful asset, the self – learn to like the self as the essence of their nature. Whether it is done through discussions at home, through social challenges at school, or through a church-based discussion of soul or self, that discovery of the invisible power of the human being is essential to the wellbeing and self-management of everyone.
You help your youth manage a drug habit, a social dependence, social fear, or a personal insecurity, not by minimizing the problem, but by accepting its seriousness and helping the youth focus on strengthening the power that can overcome it. Minimizing the problem only sends the message that the youth is as foolish as he/she already believes. Criticizing or punishing a behaviour only confuses them more as they never intended to be bad. They are simply working within their limitations. They have to know that they are simply trying to face a tough reality as a new adult but with the resources of the youth. It is okay to fail or feel inadequately prepared most of the time. It is not okay to stay that way. But they must learn to face their world by developing and relying on their most powerful asset, their rational mind. It is a tough task but one that can help you give your youth something that is more precious than money or prolonged guardianship.