We see an addiction as the diversion from the problem.  It is not the primary problem but becomes the most significant.

Our strategy is to discover, define, and address the primary problem – before, during, or after you have stopped the behavior.

Our first meeting is designed to get to know you, not your addiction.  We spend as much time as is necessary to discover who you are, what are your strengths and limitations, your beliefs and your habits.  We take you back to childhood to discover how you were taught to see yourself and life.

We offer a radically different treatment format that first aims to help you define and appreciate self and then go through the self-initiated process of managing your own behaviour. Many concerns that must be addressed when the separation from the behaviour is primary are not necessary in our facility. Much of the real work is done between counselling sessions. This places the onus of responsibility on you. Success is yours and allows strong positive feedback or the opportunity for us to reveal it in you.

Our programme is composed of 3 parts – the assessment, the management and the reinforcement. All are done as private one-on-one sessions of 2-3 hours each.

Assessment

This is intended to give you a complete picture of your needs and what are your responsibilities to yourself. We see in everyone who has a compulsive behaviour a toxic need to go for artificial gratification because you cannot reach natural gratification consistently or sufficiently. And this happens because of the way you have learned to define and measure self. You either have no sense of self (empty), one that is defined by physical skill or prowess (fragile), or one based on material or social status (misdirected).

 

Our target is self-empowerment, not empowerment by the counsellor or other external attributes. The assessment allows us to look for the reason your self-image is empty, fragile, or misdirected and show you how to redefine it in a way that is strong, self-directed, and immune to outside forces. Then we share our observation and invite dialogue with you so that an acceptable focus is defined.

Management

The management part of the programme is divided into 2 sections. The ultimate objective is to help you develop a secure sense of self that can withstand the stresses of reality, and manage independently in a reality that is always relentless in its demands, unforgiving in its judgment.
The first section is structured around the examination of abstract information provided to you as a video tutorial on five DVDs. This information is designed to help you examine life objectively, see the natural evolution of reactive and proactive behaviours, and look at emotions as more than a chemical reaction but as a realization of the essence of self.
The Introductory Volume discusses unhealthy behaviours as natural instinctual responses when the more rational capabilities have been compromised or are yet undeveloped.
Volume 1 dissects the stresses, shows why people are generally ill-prepared for them and how we develop defences that later become problems that are difficult to stop.
Volume 2 gives you two insights, a scientific look at how we think and emote, and an understanding of how reality can be seen from the point of view of chaos theory. It uses scientific facts to define change and to show the distinction of the self from physical measures of competence.
Volume 3 discusses how to measure self in a way that gives power and immunizes it from measures that are beyond our control.
Volume 4 shows how to develop a passion for self-growth and self-accountability. It shows how to be awake to life, and how to derive pleasure from being mentally contributive so that old activities that gave pleasure at the expense of self will no longer attract.
The second section is a series of private, one-on-one discussions exploring how you are learning to see life differently and answering any questions or challenges you may have. It is done in conjunction with the first. It is designed to help you to use the information above as a tool for analyzing self. The intent is to practice using it as an analytic tool to assess a variety of characters from a variety of movies. We direct the analysis and help you to see the character of the actor, not just the entertainment of the plot. We request that you also read some books that are pertinent to your understanding of the discussions

Reinforcement

Now that you are able to apply the techniques to yourself, . We work with you to develop your own management of how life can be approached differently and with self-discipline and self-accountability. We do not design the programme but will assist you in the design. At no time do we impose our expectations on the management of the behaviour. At this stage, you may already be willing to take the ball and run with it. Nonetheless, you are invited to participate in the reinforcement by discussing:
Relapse – usually associated with periods of stress you do not want but must be willing to accept without resorting to old behaviour
Anger – how to see the weakness in the other person who is defensive and respond with consideration rather than anger
Fellowship – how to develop a social life with normal people by seeking those who will stimulate, not those who will just support
Managing others– how to give children and other protégés the tools to appreciate self and avoid the pitfalls of external measures
Career development and restoration – how to show responsibility, be turned on by things that stimulate the mind to grow, not to feel oppressed by the demands.

What we will not do

We do not heighten the guilt feelings you have by discussing the unhealthy or immoral consequences of your behaviour. You already know it.

 

We do not suppress the need for special consideration that many professionals and executives show. We believe that, to get an executive or professional to admit you are powerless, is an affront to your dignity. But to show you why you sometimes can feel so overwhelmed or bored or broken that mature strengths give way to immature defensiveness is an invitation to fix yourself.

 

We do not interpret toxic behaviour as anything more than an immature response to the stresses of life. Therefore, the type of immature response is less important than the fact that it exists to the level it has reached.

 

We do not presume that you need to be taught basic discipline and design it as a program for you. Once you learn to appreciate self, basic discipline becomes self-initiated and progressive.

 

We do not impose a spiritual, religious, or quasi spiritual directive. However, you learn to define and appreciate self, the tenets of your particular faith will make more sense and be more positively interpreted.

 

We do not graduate weak people who need support to stay clean; we graduate strong people who are ready to manage old issues and tackle new ones. You can integrate socially, not only with caring or like-minded people, but definitely with people who can inform you in areas that are unfamiliar, and challenge you to reach heights of understanding in areas that are familiar. Life turns you on as you are not constantly in a careful state of self-denial or restraint.

Let’s now get you back on the road to true recovery