Look where you can’t see
An Overview (Please click to read)
Part 1 - The Analysis (Please click to read)
This allows us to give them insights that empower them to examine themselves deeper and more objectively than they may have done before. Remember, a person knows HIM/HERSELF better than anyone else can. With the insights we lead them to have, they will be able to examine themselves deeper and more accurately than we can ever do for them.
This first part will encourage you to place greater focus on the person as an intelligent mind with the capacity to grow regardless of their level of immaturity or misperception of the world and their place in it. This will give you greater connection with your clients than you can get focusing on present feelings or on curtailing behaviours that are really only manifestations of the insecure inner core.
Let’s face it, however, whether the client is coming out of an addiction or actively engaged in the lifestyle, that person will be emotionally unstable. It is possible that the instability or uncertainty may have caused the addiction or caused by it. Regardless, it is an essential component in the healing process and cannot be left to casual or delayed consideration. It must be understood and incorporated in the treatment process if any positive outcome is to be expected or lasting.
You must be familiar with these different reasons. Some people use substances as a means of soothing themselves physically or emotionally while or after enduring the ravages of a stressful, oppressive, or abusive reality. Some people use to build the determination or enhance their performance, albeit artificially, to face the stresses of responsibility. Some people use as an escape from the stresses of responsibility or any experience they’d rather not have. Yet, the more they use, the more that balance is compromised and the more they need to use. Thus, there is a need that compromises the emotional balance. While that need remains, the emotional integrity will stay compromised.
This part of the course will show you how to understand these differences, examine the connection between a need for soothing or one for boosting personal capabilities or that for escaping the challenges and the resulting effect this uncertainty brings to the integrity of the client emotionally. You will look at how to give hope to the client, that your focus is not only on taking away their “best friend”, but on giving them a way to have a best friend in themselves. You will learn how to focus on the need and thus become or be seen as a true mentor to the client.
The unique quality of the human being that sets us apart from every other life form is that we have the capacity fro rteason. It is an attribute that must be activated and developed, however. How?
Unhealthy Habits - An Overview
This is an examination of using, not of the established state (disease) of addiction.
We analyze and examine obsessive and unhealthy habits in general, looking into why any apparently stable, mature person will be attracted let alone become enslaved to such activities.
The Lesson of the Canoe
Have you ever seen a person who has never been in a canoe before try to canoe? It looks like an exercise in frustration. He sits awkwardly on one of the seats and gingerly paddles, first on the right, and then on the left. On a smooth lake, it may even seem to be a pleasant exercise though somewhat overdone. Now suppose such a person sets out bravely enjoying a glassy-smooth lake early one morning. The zigzag path doesn’t concern him as he stays close to shore or secure within a small bay.
Now let us suppose that a young teenager with a fast motorboat zooms by close to this intrepid but inexperienced canoeist. What happens next is not difficult to visualize. The canoe rocks and may even capsize. What does he do?
Self-Esteem is an awareness of self as an existent or entity that is whole, complete, valuable, one who fits in with the reality he/she occupies.
Because there is not any initial self-awareness when a person is born, every child starts life without self-esteem. A child, and subsequently a youth, builds a personal vision of self that is based on attributes that appear to define and present them as the independent and respectable or acceptable individual. Therefore Self-Esteem is low when the attributes that the child can reach to define a value of self are unfavorable, disordered, or fragile. Think about it.
Let us now examine this carefully so we can understand the individual with low or fragile Self-Esteem and also see how to fix it. Perhaps no other self-help topic has spawned so much advice and so many (often conflicting) theories. They falter because they focus on building or replacing those visible attributes, not on the science of a deeper definition of self. So please allow me to walk you through an abstract examination of this dilemma.
Humans are cognitive beings. We think, create ideas and solutions for problems. We also react, but that is a failsafe. Thinking supersedes our instinctual reactions when that is called into play. When we have a problem, therefore, we have two types of responses. One is to act immediately to remove the problem. Another is to determine the cause and manage that. We do that in many areas of life that have come into our cognitive capabilities. We can stop a flood by looking for the leak in the dam. We can fix a motor vehicle’s sputtering by analyzing and then fixing the spark plug or timing belt, whatever we discover as the problem. A doctor does not just give medicines for symptoms. The doctor will first investigate the source and then treat that.
An Analytic Look at Behavior
Every individual, every human being is equal to every other in having the same responsibility to manage ourselves in this world of immense biological, mechanical and social activity. Every individual is equal to every other person in having the same two categories of management options. One is proactive management that comes when we have conscious, rational understanding of the situation to be managed.
This is a Secure Reality, or a reality in which we feel emotionally secure. The other is reactive management that we use when we do not understand the situation fully. Then, we are in an Insecure Reality or a reality in which we will feel emotionally insecure and act immaturely no matter how intelligent or experienced we may be. Thus, the difference is not a secure or insecure person, a well or sick one, or a good or bad one, but there is a person who can be in a secure or insecure reality at different times.
Seeing the human being as a soul, an intelligent life-force, not just as a physical body.
1. What is the mind?
Here we start of by asking you to think about describing yourself. We will acknowledge that you will not start by describing your weight, height, or skin colour. Or even your genes, national background. You will describe yourself by your personality, its capabilities and limitations. You will describe something that is privy to you and only you.
2. How does the mind develop?
Here we will talk about mind, brain, neuroplasticity. We will discuss what it takes to build and strengthen the personality. We will examine it from a realistic set of observations. It sets us up to discuss how to discover and define the insufficiencies, the holes in one’s formative years that will have left you competent in some areas but uncertain aand insecure in others.
The Dynamics of Healthy & Unhealthy Behavior
There are three audiovisual lessons in this accordion toggle.
Lesson 1. Defining The Core
First, we must try to define the person, who we are? What is the real energy or engine that drives or rather IS the human being? We need to define who we are before we attempt to fix us, don’t we?
Lesson 2. The Genesis of Unhealthy Behaviours and Moods
Our behaviors and moods are representations of the inner core and that representation is driven by how we perceive ourselves, our self-image.
Lesson 3. A Summary of Intent
This discourse will introduce you to how the rest of these lessons will unfold so you can take the mature position in every encounter. Here you will learn how to use the lessons to effect positive change within you.
The Challenge of Relating
There are four audiovisual leacures in this toggle.
Lesson 4. The Challenge of Relating
Communicating and relating present a challenge that can be greater than any other. The intents and expectations of the people we work with and live with can be a source of stress until we learn how to examine them with curiosity and confidence.
Lesson 5. The Identity
The human being is both a creative force and a task to be managed. But the energy that gives rise to that property is invisible, not easily identified. Thus we have to develop an identity that allows us to project ourselves and by which we can be known. Let us examine how we can create an identity and what are the pitfalls.
Lesson 6. The Defense
When we are faced with too many stresses and we do not have the cognitive strengths to manage, we usually develop defense mechanisms to allow us to cope. Looking at defense mechanisms logically so we can understand how they evolve, what they can do, and what are their limitations.
Lesson 7. The Responsibility
The responsibility of any person required to manage a task is to be able to see the parameters of the task to be managed. The responsibility when the task is the management of or relationship to another person is to be able to see the real intent or limitations of the other behind their defense systems. We have to relate to people when they are in an insecure reality just as well as we can do when they are in a secure reality.
Self Development (Four videos to challenge your nascent thinking. video links in back end))
1. How do you grow?
Growing up is not just a physical or biological experience. It is also a mental maturation, and this is not tied to physical growth.
2. On Spirituality
Spirituality is more than religion. It is the essence of humankind that allows us to be creative, not just reactive even to a sophisticated level.
3. You are not sheep
The human being is more than a sophisticated organic machine. You think, create ideas. Unlike sheep or other organic life forms, you have the ability to analyze a situation and create a solution that is appropriate and specific to that situation at that time.
Mental Health is perhaps the most enigmatic and yet the most intimate and important part of our existence. A discussion on it can usually leave us afraid, bored, or even disinterested. Partly this is because we fear that an interest in understanding it may presume or reveal a concern about its insufficiency. It is easier to hide what we fear than examine and fix it. But here is an invitation to see it differently.
Building The Foundation
Examine where no instrument can take you
Part 2. The Foundation Please click here to open this accordion toggle
Understanding Change & Turmoil
Is Mental Health a Misnomer? Or a Misappropriation?
I have recently seen numerous billboard advertisements about mental health around Toronto. There is something that bothers me about them. The billboards scream mental health but the descriptions immediately launch into mental illness. It is almost a message that mental health is a condition that must be expected, and restored if it happens to be compromised.
Okay. We are used to health care as the sine qua non of medicine, the profession. It is used to mean caring for physical health through restoration of what should be there naturally. Physical health is a right. The body arrives as a fully formed system (with some occasional flaws that become part of the whole). Health care is the restoration of that form when it becomes distorted. So health care is a restoration. The mind does not arrive fully formed. So there can be no expectation or right.
Self Respect is the ability to maintain dignity in the face of stress, rejection, criticism, or any activity that can erode one`s value systems. In a world of imposing immensity and persistent change, the forces that can strike at anyone`s value systems can be extreme, unprecedented, and persistent. Yet, we cannot contain or control those external events. There is no special stress that will always threaten every person. What threatens is the difference between what is imposed and the strength of the systems defining the person facing those impositions. If something destroys the systems that create value and define self, then it can destroy us.
A treatise on stress and distress
Is correcting behavior sufficient?
The pervading view in the approach to a person with an unhealthy mood or behavior, including addiction, is to recognize the condition as an anomaly and work to remove or suppress it. That view is held whether we are trying to manage, heal, direct, judge, or help another person, or if we are the person who is looking for assistance or direction.
This approach is based on the assumption that normalcy is the natural development of the healthy human being. We believe from this that a person should be able to display behaviors that are consistent with his age and presumed experience. This is true physically. But in mental development, there appears to be a need for proactive stimulation. Yet, we presume that physical growth should confer mental maturity. So, though we do not always say it, we simply act out the expectation. Then, when emotional/mental immaturity is revealed, we conclude that it is because of disease or a corrupted evolution of natural growth.
Getting A Perspective On Personal Strengths and Needs (Video Lessons 8 to 11)
Lesson 8. The Capacity
I will now discuss the capacity of the human being as existing, not in the strength of appearance, possessions, or social status, but in the depth of insight and understanding you have acquired. How do we measure that? And how much can we expand it?
Lesson 9. The Need
Life is tough. We need to have personal resources. How do we get those? What do we need in order to get the resources that allow us to deal with the stresses, the disruptions, the chaos?
Lesson 10. The Reality
The Reality is that we are living in a world that is defined by chaos. We cannot change it, stabilize it, nor run from it. And we do not want to be in a constant state of chaos ourselves. We must understand chaos from an objective stance and learn to live with it without being part of it.
Lesson 11. The Focus
As we learn about the inherent instability of life, we have to learn how to change our focus away from hoping or attempting to stabilize it and to use it to stimulate us.
Immunizing Self To The Barbs Of Life (Video Lessons 12 to 15)
Lesson 12. The Objective
We need to immunize our sensitivities, but how? To do this, we need an objective different from that which is easily embraced but just as easily disturbed. We need to be able to see ourselves differently and independent of the capricious reality.
Lesson 13. The Accountability
Being selfish to soul means that we cannot simply sit back and seek comfort. It means being accountable to self, to stimulate self. This means accepting change and disruption as food for the erudition of self, accepting the challenges from work, health, and other people.
Lesson 14. The Immunity
If we are to deal with a world of persistent change, a reality where complexity reigns, we have to be able to immunize ourselves to the effects of change. In short, we cannot stop the change and we cannot be part of it. It must happen and we must exist. Therefore we have to be able to immunize our sensitivities so the energies of life do not destabilize us.
Lesson 15. The Maturity
The mature person knows how to measure self so that any measure from the world cannot reduce us nor can it make us. Maturity is the ability to be our own master, not needing and not subject to the feedback from the world, but using it as food for the personal erudition of self.
Self Assessment (4 audiovisual discourses for your evaluation)
Making A Diagnosis
When we feel uncomfortable in the way we see ourselves or relate to the things and people in our reality, we know that there is a deficiency, or perhaps a flaw somewhere within our psyche. The difficulty here is that it is invisible to even the most astute professional, and of course, unidentifiable to ourselves. So we tend to treat what we presume is an illness without knowing what the real problem is. There is a way to correct this.
Living with Change
We live in a reality of great stress and severe impositions. Some we seek. Many are imposed on us either by nature, by the activities of others, or by our own expectations. We cannot live outside of this changing reality, and we cannot subdue it. We have to learn how to live with it.
Who as an adult has never experienced that? Or even as a child? When it happens, we cannot manage it. It takes over. So we must understand and manage the conditions that lead to it.
Let’s face it, every human being wants to feel capable, successful and useful. When we have those measures of assurance we can face any obstacle and be able to just be “high on life”. The strength we get from these assurances is not physical. It lies in the essence of who we are. It is our Mental Strength.
Guiding the Application
Heal what you can’t touch
Part 3. The Application
Now that you have examined the machinations of the human mind, you are ready to do what was proposed in the first module – look where you can’t see. You will learn that you can see that only when the person chooses to reveal it. The good part is that every human being wants to reveal what they think. They are only hampered by the clutter of feelings and actions, and by the uncertainty that what they really have to reveal may be considered insufficient or undesirable. You must know how to help them bypass those concerns honestly and intelligently.
We will show you how to build the trust quickly so you can go about the more important work of empowering the person to expand and appreciate those resources and attitudes. You must, however, be able to distract them from the clutter of feelings and behaviors and help them focus on the art of self-realization and self-actualization.
We will show you how to use movies, books, and essays to help them see themselves objectively, analyze their own behaviours, and have the determination, not to fix them, but to build the power to function above needing them. New behaviors will become logic driven rather than reaction-based. In other words, they will start to change an old behaviour or mood, not by fixing them directly, but by building the opposite attitude and action.
This third section can go on for a long time. But they will realize that they now have the formula. They do not need you to chart their course as they will chart it and change it as the conditions change. Your job would have been done. “Finis coronat opus – the completion crowns the work.
Communicating in a marriage or family unit
The need to communicate effectively in a marriage or family unit is perhaps one of the most challenging responsibilities we must face today. It is a responsibility because a relationship is the most dynamic area of life, dynamism that is based on the hidden, individual thoughts, desires and feelings of the people involved. People think constantly. Their thoughts are generated in directions that are influenced by past experiences, present perceptions and personal feelings. In today`s complex social, economic and mechanical world, no one`s total past experience equals anyone else`s. There may be some overlap, but the specific conditions that form any particular experience is entirely unique, and therefore specific to the person influenced by them. In addition, every situation is so multifaceted that two people observing the same event can have two very different perceptions.
Mental Health is NOT The Treatment of Mental Illness.
Every time I examine articles or listen to discussions on mental health, the subject always either starts with the mental disorders a person seems to experience or reveal, or it gravitates to that. It appears to consider that mental health is a state that signifies normalcy in a person. Then, if that normalcy seems absent or compromised, the conclusion is that the mind is disturbed or ill.
The pervading view, therefore, in the approach to a person with an unhealthy mood or behavior is to recognize the condition as an anomaly and work to remove or suppress it, or t5reat the person as a pariah who cannot be expected to function fully as human. That view is held whether we are trying to manage, heal, direct, judge, or help another person, or if we are the person who is looking for assistance or direction.
Core Intervention Therapy is a form of therapeutic intervention that is designed to reach an accurate and easy analysis of the source of an emotional or behavioral malady and coach the participant toward fixing the underlying disorder permanently and effectively. Core Intervention Therapy makes the logical observation that, in a linear model, a task can be successfully managed using fixed logic or programmed skill. When the demands of the challenge increase, it can still be managed with an expanded application of the same skill and logic. A linear model is one that makes the simple assumption that a problem becomes difficult either because the solution is not known by the person experiencing the problem or that the problem is a (linear) extension of that for which a ready solution is available. A complex model recognizes that every problem is generated by a complex variety of conditions so that even a small change can be caused by a number of underlying variables making it a totally new challenge, not an extension of a familiar one. Thus, in a complex model, the application of greater effort can be significantly counter-productive leading to frustration, apprehension, or defeat. The renewed effort must allow the examination of every problem for the full range of invisible variables that give rise to it. This can only be accomplished by a strong core that operates with the flexibility and creativity that fixed logic or programmed skill cannot generate.
Chaos and Complexity
If management can be defined as the process of reaching a state of equilibrium with a task or responsibility, then life as a whole is a management challenge! It is management because, in order to succeed or at the least survive, we are required to achieve an equilibrium with the many things and people that form our environment. It is a challenge because, regardless of how well we may have managed one issue, change creates a disequilibrium requiring another effort at success or survival. In order, therefore, to be successful at any aspect of life – career, health, or relationships – we must first accept the responsibility as managers of our own lives. Then we must look at how this can be achieved most effectively in the highly volatile conditions we face today.
The Genesis of unhealthy moods and behaviors
If management can be defined as the process of reaching a state of equilibrium with a task or responsibility, then life as a whole is a management challenge! It is management because, in order to succeed or at the least survive, we are required to achieve an equilibriumWe live in times of great change. No one has been adequately prepared for the disruptions this brings daily in our jobs, family life, health, personal relationships, or the social interactions within the multicultural melting pots of our urban centres. It is natural then that the personal strengths we have learned to rely on will inevitably become stretched, even to breaking point. The result is that accountable people have time only to put out fires and many of us are beginning to fail at out jobs or relationships, addicted to the substances and activities that offer trivial respite, or lost in emotional angst we cannot escape long enough before the next stress arrives. These Unhealthy Moods and Inappropriate Behaviours can severely jeopardize our social, material, or physical wellbeing. We need to understand them before we try to fix them, or we will be left going around in circles and getting results only for trivial moments. with the many things and people that form our environment. It is a challenge because, regardless of how well we may have managed one issue, change creates a disequilibrium requiring another effort at success or survival. In order, therefore, to be successful at any aspect of life – career, health, or relationships – we must first accept the responsibility as managers of our own lives. Then we must look at how this can be achieved most effectively in the highly volatile conditions we face today.
Influencing others to manage positively (Video Lessons 16 to 19)
Lesson 16. Diagnose The Situation
As with any challenge, we must first understand and diagnose the situation. In a complex reality, this can be more urgently necessary.
Lesson 17. Explore The Identity
Get an understanding of the identity that we are as a human being. Learn what we really are, a soul with a mandate to grow, different from and immune to the stresses of life.
Lesson 18. Influence the Growth
Now that we have learned to be independent and able to relate to the other person with personal strength and understanding, it is time to help the other person grow to be a source of inspiration to us and a positive force in our team or family.
Lesson 19. Energize The Maturity
Now that you are able to be immune to the barbs of life, it is time to know how to relate to the other person who shows only defensive behaviours, see behind the behaviours and work with the soul… at the level that person has reached internally, embrace the person as is, stimulate them and help them to grow.
About Drugs and Dependencies (4 video discourses for your evaluation)
1. Youth and Drugs
Why do our youth use drugs? Is it just to keep up appearances with their peers? Or peer pressure? Or is it the result of personal problems we cannot see and they do not reveal to us? We want to help them. How can we do that when the using also makes them distant or even disrespectful of us?
2. Substance Use
Substance Use is not Substance Abuse. It is the use of substances toeither deal with pain or to have a transient experience of pleasure. It can lead tio Substance Abuse but does not necessarily cross that line. Yet, because it can, it is dangerous. We have, therefore, to know how to nip it in the bud.
3. Substance Abuse
Substance Abuse is not an addiction. It may be the prelude to an addiction. The use does not cause the addiction but the attitude does. Removing the use without changing the attitude can leave you still vulnerable. Changing the attitude is paramount to restoration of full dignity and composure.
4. Examining Addictions in the Disease Model
Popular beliefs have centered recently on an addiction as a disease. A disease is an abnormality that must simply be treated. A simple acceptance of this connection does not give a full opportunity to manage or reverse an addiction because it diverts from the need to investigate and understand the underlying condition and manage the source. Yet, that is possible and effective.
An examination of brain and mind
A crude but practical illustration of how to help oneself or someone else inspire and use intelligent responses over reactive responses and define oneself by them.
Securing Mental Strength
The present pandemic inspired this as a webinar, but it can be useful knowledge in any type of crisis, even one that is private, personal, and not considered a crisis to others. It is a rather comprehensive description but it gives real information that can help you understand this complex subject.